Every man needs a code of conduct and a set of core values and beliefs that he lives by. These core beliefs shape him as a man. Let's face it, if you grew up in the West, you were influenced by Judeo-Christian, Capitalist, and Democratic values. But today, we live in a more secular world. Whether you're a hardcore Christian who believes sex before marriage is off-limits or less religious but still hold many Christian principles while permitting premarital sex, it's crucial to understand your limitations—what you're willing to do and what is off-limits.
Establishing this code of beliefs early in your life, before you attain a level of success, is vital. The code becomes more important as you become more successful. When starting out, you have limited opportunities, which means you automatically have self-imposed limitations. As you become more successful, more opportunities open up, and when temptations are in front of you, you may not be in the best position to make the correct ethical decision.
Where do you stand on infidelity? Is it definitely off the table, or are there circumstances in which it may be permissible? You need to know well before the opportunity arises because when a woman is standing naked in front of you, it's highly unlikely you'll make the right decision. Pop culture tells you that humans work better under pressure, but this is a handy excuse for procrastination. Think about basketball. Statistics show that players are more successful in free throws than when they have opposing players breathing down their necks in open play. If players performed better under pressure, the stats would be reversed.
So, here is the challenge: when you're still young and starting out, work on formulating your code of conduct. If you're a devout Christian, the work has already been done, and you have that code. If you're a secular man, there are plenty of influences you can draw from. In this blog, I want to give you a framework and some examples of how you can use existing beliefs and philosophies to cobble together a killer code of conduct and core set of values.
Key Issues to Include in Your Code of Conduct
1. Politics
Where do you stand on personal freedom and your relationship with the government? Do you believe that governments do a good job, in which case you're a fan of big government, like a Democrat in the United States, happy to yield to their authority and relinquish some personal freedom for the greater good? Or maybe you're more of a centrist, believing that governments are necessary to prevent chaos. Perhaps you're very left-wing, valuing liberty above all and seeing any government interference as inherently bad.
Do you believe in democracy, socialism, Marxism, or a version of a benign dictatorship? Or are you an anarchist who wants the abolition of all government in favor of free associations? Maybe you live in a failed state where the government fails to provide basic services, and the police and politicians are corrupt. Understanding your stance on governance is critical to defining your core values.
2. Religion
Are you an atheist, agnostic, or a theist? If you're a theist, what form does your belief take—Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or another religion? Perhaps you blend elements from various religions into your belief system. Most of us in the West have been shaped by Judeo-Christian values centered around doing unto others as you would have done to you. Maybe you use the Ten Commandments as your belief foundation but oppose organized religion due to perceived conflicts stemming from religious intolerance.
3. Values
What are your most important values? Courage, honesty, fidelity, truth, compassion, discipline? You need to define who you are, what you believe in, and what is non-negotiable to you. How important is respect to you, and what will you do in the face of disrespect? What will you do if your partner disrespects you, talks down to you, or belittles you in front of others?
Many people say respect is vital yet tolerate disrespect from those important to them. They claim truth is crucial but tell small lies to make life easier. They expect fidelity from their partner but are frequently unfaithful themselves. Your actions must reflect your words. Take time to observe your actions, be self-aware, understand who you are, and ensure your actions are congruent with your values.
Conclusion
Formulating a solid code of conduct and core set of values is essential for every man. It's about knowing who you are and standing firm in your beliefs, regardless of the temptations and challenges that success might bring. Establish your code early, live by it, and let it guide you through life's complexities. In the end, a well-defined code will help you navigate life's pressures with integrity and strength.
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