What would you say if I told you your girlfriend or wife could be sabotaging you? You may be thinking this is ridiculous. Surely your girl is your partner—surely she wants what is best for you because if you succeed, so does she. If you believe this, you might be assuming that your girl thinks the same way you do. Men are inherently loyal creatures. Men join the army and serve their countries. They feel intense loyalty to their family, friends, and communities. Men can afford this luxury because they are inherently more independent. Going back to our existence as cavemen, men had a higher probability of surviving outside the tribe because they could hunt and are physically stronger.
Women, on the other hand, are more vulnerable and are therefore better at building strategic alliances that can increase their likelihood of survival. So, what happens when women are financially successful? Women are hypergamous. They date across and up socio-economically. We know that women initiate the majority of divorces. It has also been found that more than half of the divorces initiated by women were done within 6 to 12 months of the woman receiving a pay raise or a promotion. You can join the dots—after their socio-economic position improved, they looked at their partners and thought to themselves they could do better.
It seems that I have gone on a wild tangent, but you will see how this all ties together. When you, as a man, start succeeding—this could be in your career as an employee or through your business—this can make your girl a little uneasy. She sees you getting wealthier, more powerful, and more confident. She sees you becoming more masculine. People are relying on you, you feel more relevant in your professional life, and you are gaining skills, knowledge, and connections. Her immediate fear is that you will do the same thing she might be tempted to do if she was in your position. She may even start to compete with you as she falls into the feminist mindset that women can be better than men. But this is not how the vast majority of men think.
We need to go back to my earlier point about loyalty. Men are loyal to people. Women, on the other hand, are only loyal to their own emotions. The moment she loses respect for her man—normally when she becomes financially more powerful than him—she instinctively starts to look for other options. Men do not do that. So, in order to prevent the situation from playing out, some (not all) women might instinctively work against their men. Again, the act of women sabotaging the success of their partners is not always a conscious one. It goes back to evolutionary biology. The success of the man is seen as a direct danger to the future survival of the woman because she fears he might leave her for another, more attractive mate.
This also explains the intense rivalry that exists between women. Have you ever wondered why women hate to find another woman wearing the same dress as they have when they go to an event? She is worried about the other woman looking better than her in that same dress. It completely levels the playing field and puts your girl on the spot as she feels everyone will be comparing her to the other woman in the same dress.
So men, be on the lookout—you could be sleeping with the enemy. The solution, as in most cases, is clear and honest communication. You need to assure your girl that she is an important part of your success. That your success is her success, and this success should be the source of greater unity and not division. If she understands how important she is to you, the chances of her sabotaging your success are greatly diminished. Again, this is not because she is a bad and evil person—she simply needs to protect herself and is therefore always in a heightened sense of awareness.
#RelationshipDynamics #MenAndWomen #LoyaltyInRelationships #EvolutionaryBiology #RelationshipAdvice #SuccessAndRelationships #Hypergamy #FinancialSuccess #EmotionalLoyalty #MenVsWomen #CommunicationInRelationships #StrategicAlliances #FinancialIndependence #ModernRelationships #FeminismAndRelationships #TrustAndSuccess #ProtectYourSuccess #RelationshipChallenges #HonestCommunication #SuccessAndUnity
תגובות