Women are hypergamous by nature, meaning they often seek partners who are superior to them economically, socially, and physically. This tendency drives women to date men who are richer, taller, and of a higher social status. As a result, dating becomes a game of gain for women and, conversely, a cost for men. This dynamic creates a zero-sum scenario where one person's gain is inherently another's loss.
The Economics of Relationships
The concept of hypergamy can be likened to the workings of financial markets. Consider the example of buying and selling stocks: if you purchase Google stock at $100 and it increases by 10 points, you gain 10 points. Conversely, the person who sold you the stock at $100 loses those 10 points. Similarly, in an employer-employee transaction, the employee receives wages while the employer pays for services rendered, balancing the transaction.
In the realm of relationships, this economic exchange becomes even more pronounced. The simplest transaction a man can engage in within the sexual marketplace is paying for sex, a clear exchange of resources for physical intimacy. This transactional nature implies that men exchange resources for sex, while women exchange sex for resources. If a woman's only contribution to a relationship is sex, it can be equated to prostitution.
The Path to Equality: Women's Emancipation
Virginia Woolf famously argued that the core of women's emancipation lies in the acquisition of their own resources. She posited that women need to become the bosses, the ones who pay wages rather than receive them. While women's emancipation has led to increased career pursuits, the hypergamous instinct remains deeply ingrained in their DNA. As women climb the social and economic ladders, the pool of "dateable" men shrinks, yet the desire to date up persists.
This ongoing hypergamous tendency implies that women continue to be net receivers of resources in relationships. For a relationship to function effectively, there must be a balance, a quid pro quo. Women need to offer something valuable in return for the resources they receive from men. This exchange can extend beyond sex to include other benefits, making the relationship more equitable.
The Controversy of Service in Relationships
This idea is controversial because no one likes the notion of being a servant. However, the hypergamous dynamic necessitates some form of service to balance the relationship. Women must be made useful in various ways to maintain this equilibrium. While this notion may be met with resistance, it is the inherent nature of hypergamous transactions.
Understanding the hypergamous nature of women and the economic dynamics of relationships can provide valuable insights into modern dating. By recognizing these patterns, both men and women can navigate their relationships more effectively, ensuring a more balanced and fulfilling partnership.
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