After hours of endless texting and flirting, she agrees to a coffee date. What’s the first thing men do? They work on their game. They focus on looking as good as possible. They hit the barber, get a haircut, trim the beard, and maybe even get a facial. Then they spend time deciding what to wear. Finally, they choose the perfect place. After all the logistics of the date have been arranged, they refresh themselves on the game plan: be confident, express open body language, be a good listener, don’t be afraid of pauses, let her do the majority of the talking, put her at ease, don’t fidget, remove the phone from view, be funny and engaging.
These are all excellent strategies, but many men often overlook a crucial aspect: what they are going to say when it’s their turn to speak. There are two key things you want to achieve during your conversation. Many men focus on what they have done or what they are doing. Maybe you’re in the process of buying a new car – she doesn’t need to hear about this. When she walks away from that first date, she should have a clear idea in her mind about your mission in life.
Women love men with a plan, drive, direction, and passion. Remember, you are looking for a partner – someone who can join you on your journey and complement you. The best place to lay this out is the very first encounter. Online dating is a numbers game – you want to see as many people as possible. You may have to go through 100 first dates before you find that person who will enhance, enrich, and complement your life.
Your first reaction may be, “That sounds kind of boring.” How can talking about your passion be boring? But there is a way you can make it even more engaging. Firstly, use stories to explain your mission. What brought you to the realization that this is what you wanted to dedicate your life to? Secondly, build in some humor.
Communicate this slowly, powerfully, and clearly. If this leaves her cold and unimpressed, she is not the one for you. If she says, “Wow, that is amazing. I admire you for your courage and tenacity,” then you’re off to the races.
The Importance of Storytelling
Stories are a powerful way to communicate your mission and passion. They are engaging, memorable, and they reveal your personality in a natural way. Instead of simply stating that you are passionate about your career or a hobby, tell a story about a significant moment that sparked that passion. This not only makes the conversation more interesting but also shows your date that you are reflective and self-aware.
Humor and Authenticity
Humor is an excellent tool to build rapport and make your date comfortable. A well-placed joke or a funny anecdote can lighten the mood and create a positive atmosphere. However, it’s essential to be authentic. Don’t force humor if it doesn’t come naturally to you. Authenticity is far more attractive than trying too hard to be funny.
Active Listening
While it’s important to share your story, it’s equally important to listen actively to your date. Show genuine interest in what she has to say. Ask questions, nod in agreement, and make her feel heard. This not only makes her feel valued but also helps you gauge her reactions to your stories and adjust accordingly.
Confidence and Body Language
Confidence is attractive, but it’s crucial to balance it with humility. Be confident in sharing your mission and passion, but avoid coming across as arrogant. Open body language, maintaining eye contact, and a relaxed posture can convey confidence and make you appear more approachable.
The Right Balance
Finding the right balance between talking about yourself and engaging with your date is key. You want her to leave the date with a clear understanding of your mission and passion, but you also want to learn about her. This balance will make the conversation flow naturally and ensure that both parties feel engaged and valued.
The first date is an opportunity to showcase who you are and what you stand for. By focusing on your mission and passion, telling engaging stories, using humor, being authentic, listening actively, and displaying confident body language, you set the stage for a meaningful connection. Remember, the goal is to find someone who complements your journey, and the first date is the perfect place to start this exciting adventure. If she is impressed by your clarity and drive, you’re on the right track. If not, keep looking – the right person is out there, waiting to join you on your journey.
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