Ever wonder why divorce rates spiked during the COVID-19 pandemic? It’s not rocket science. Couples simply spent too much time together. As the old saying goes, "familiarity breeds contempt." Humans, by nature, aren't designed to spend inordinate amounts of time with a single person, even if that person is your romantic partner.
Take a moment to think back to our hunter-gatherer ancestors. During the day, men would be out hunting or engaging in communal activities with other men, while women stayed home, managing their own tasks. When the men returned, it wasn’t immediately couple time—it was community time. The tribe would come together, prepare a meal, and only after the communal aspects were taken care of would there be time spent with significant others. The concept of weekends didn’t even exist because survival was the priority, not leisure.
Now, fast forward to our modern lives. Society has drastically changed, and it’s now possible for both partners to work from home. You bump into each other in the hallway, in the kitchen while making a snack, and then insist on having meals together. When work ends, she’s still there, and the alone time continues to shrink unless you have a bunch of kids demanding attention. Weekends have become these sacred "together time" moments, further pushing the boundaries of how much time a couple spends together.
Add it all up, and you’re probably spending 10 to 20 percent of your awake time with your partner. This is definitely too much time. The reality is, spending excessive time together can erode the very foundation of your relationship. The novelty wears off, and instead of growing closer, you might find yourselves growing apart.
The pandemic forced many couples to confront this uncomfortable truth. With lockdowns in place, couples who were used to spending limited time together suddenly found themselves in each other's company 24/7. For some, this revealed cracks in the relationship that had long been papered over by busy schedules and external distractions.
The lesson here is clear: Avoid the mistakes that led to the spike in divorce rates during COVID by prioritizing alone time or engaging in activities with people other than your partner. It’s essential to maintain your individuality and pursue passions outside the relationship. Remember, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. So, give each other the space to breathe, to miss one another, and to reconnect on deeper, more meaningful levels.
In a world that often pushes for more togetherness, it’s important to recognize that sometimes, less is more. Balance your time together with time apart, and your relationship will be all the stronger for it.
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