It's often said that gratitude is the shortest-lived human emotion, and the sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be. This applies to running your business, how you conduct yourself as an employee, and how you maintain your personal relationships. And men? We're especially bad at understanding this concept of gratitude.
The Illusion of the Gratitude Economy
Men often think life operates on a gratitude economy. We believe that by spending time and money on our partners, we're building some kind of investment fund we can draw from in times of need. When you take your girl on a romantic trip to Italy or buy her a Louis Vuitton bag, you think you're adding to the positive balance in your relationship fund. Wrong. Those aren't investments; they're expenses.
The Harsh Reality of Expense Accounting
In financial terms, these gestures are not assets on your balance sheet; they're expenses on your income statement. When your girl breaks up with you after a week in Venice, your gut reaction might be, "How can you do this to me after all that I've done for you?" When your boss calls you in after ten years of dedicated service and fires you, you might think, "How can you do this to me after all that I've done for the company?"
Guess what? All these services you've provided have been paid for and need to be expensed. They are not investments; they go in and out immediately. In financial terms, it's a wash. Written off on the income statement, they don’t come close to the balance sheet.
Looking Forward, Not Backward
So, what does this mean for you? In relationships, both romantic and professional, your track record is irrelevant. It's only the future benefits you can bring to the table that matter. Your value to your girl or your company is the present value of all the future benefits you can provide. Your value is forward-looking; it doesn't work retrospectively.
The Future Value Proposition
As soon as your girl sees minimal future benefits from you, she'll start looking for Plan B. As soon as your boss sees minimal potential for future positive cash flows from you, he'll be on the phone to human resources, and your position will be in jeopardy. Unless you can benefit someone in the future, you are of no value. You're wallpaper, a non-entity.
The Dark Side: Future Harm
We've talked about benefits, but let's touch on harm. If someone can harm you in the future, they are of consequence to you. This isn't just about financial harm but also emotional harm. The past is irrelevant here too; it's only the future that counts.
Conclusion: The Brutal Truth
In both love and business, your past efforts mean squat. It’s all about what you can do next. So, stop keeping score of your past deeds and start focusing on how you can add value moving forward. Because, in the end, life doesn’t care about the gratitude you think you deserve. It’s only interested in what’s next.
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