In every relationship, sex is important. Equally crucial, however, is who initiates it. The dynamics of initiating sex have far-reaching consequences, not only for the couple but also for any children involved. This issue can even lead couples to therapy or divorce court, directly impacting the future happiness of everyone connected to the family.
When the lights are turned out, and a hand moves over to touch the other, whether to initiate sex or some other form of physical intimacy, this gesture carries more weight than you might think. A lack of response can be chalked up to not being in the mood after a hard day. However, if this rejection is repeated and the recipient of the touch never initiates intimacy themselves, it sets off a chain reaction in the mind of the initiator.
Let's face it: most of the time, the initiator is the man. So, let's use the correct pronouns. When he feels unwanted and unloved due to repeated rejection, he begins to think he is unnecessary. Even more pernicious is the feeling that she finds him disgusting. For anyone with a strong sense of self-worth, the obvious reaction is to initiate dialogue to get to the bottom of the situation. If it becomes clear that nothing can change the situation, the simple solution might be to leave. People drift apart for various reasons, and unreciprocated affection is a valid reason to part ways.
The real problem arises when this situation persists and remains unaddressed. People with low self-worth may be too embarrassed to bring up the subject. Instead, they might have an affair or bottle up their frustration until they explode in a fit of rage, during which the problems at hand are guaranteed not to be addressed.
The bottom line is that we need to learn how to express our needs. Communication is key. If your partner is not initiating intimacy, talk about it. Understand their reasons and express your feelings without blame. Addressing the issue early can prevent the cascade of negative emotions and actions that lead to the breakdown of the relationship.
The importance of initiating intimacy goes beyond the bedroom. It speaks to the emotional connection and mutual desire in the relationship. Ignoring this can silently sabotage even the strongest bonds. So, speak up, share your needs, and work together to maintain the intimacy that forms the foundation of a healthy, happy relationship.
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