In the world of romance, one truth stands clear: women love independent men. Men who can fend for themselves, harbor unique hobbies, pursue distinct interests, and maintain friendships outside of their relationship often attract admiration. So why do many men, once in a relationship, abandon these traits and merge entirely with their girlfriends? This is the very behavior women often detest. Men think that maximizing time with their partners will bring them closer, yielding numerous benefits. They ditch their friends, ignore their hobbies, and sacrifice their independence. As time passes, resentment builds—not towards their partners, but towards themselves for relinquishing their autonomy.
The Trap of Dependency
Men, here's the truth: sacrificing your independence doesn't make your relationship stronger. It erodes it. This is a guide for those dating without children. If you're married with kids and spend every weekend playing golf, missing your children’s games, you're clearly misaligned.
The Game Plan for Maintaining Independence
You’ve started a new relationship. She ticks all your boxes, and the chemistry is off the charts. Here’s where you need to act against your natural instincts. The urge might be to dive in headfirst—move in together, share finances, shower her with gifts, and worship the ground she walks on. Resist this impulse.
Being a high-value man means maintaining impeccable manners, self-control, and respect for women. But high-value men are also independent. Their happiness comes from within, not from their girlfriends. They have a tribe of friends offering emotional support and camaraderie—be it through running, cycling, golfing, or fishing. This tribe is nearly as crucial as your romantic partner. Your family, too, should never be sacrificed for a woman.
Pursuing Personal Interests
Maintain your interests (provided they’re not other women, as high-value men don’t cheat). Don’t abandon alone time, journaling, or meditation when you enter a relationship. These practices enhance your well-being and, in turn, your relationship. Keep hitting the gym, even if workouts are short.
The Importance of Independence
Remember, these are the traits she fell in love with: your independence, confidence, and strength. Smothering her by abandoning your own life can be the death knell of a healthy romantic relationship.
Conclusion
In essence, maintaining your independence isn’t just about preserving your hobbies or friendships. It’s about staying true to yourself and fostering a balanced, fulfilling relationship where both partners thrive.
Afterthought: there is the saying "Familiarity breeds contempt". It is a saying that means the more you know someone or something, the more likely you are to find faults and become less impressed or respectful. When you become overly familiar with someone, you might take them for granted, overlook their positive qualities, and focus more on their flaws. This concept often applies to relationships where initial admiration and excitement can diminish over time as partners become more familiar with each other's habits and imperfections. It serves as a reminder to maintain appreciation and respect, even in long-term relationships.
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