Many men, myself included, fall into the trap of being overly agreeable. This tendency can wreak havoc on relationships. But how does agreeableness manifest itself? It often means saying “yes” too frequently and “no” not enough. In relationships, we tend to acquiesce to our partner’s desires too often, always striving to give her what she wants. This, however, is far from ideal. Let me explain why.
The Power Dynamics at Play
If she always gets what she wants, she starts to feel more powerful than you, which can make her uncomfortable. You might wonder why this is problematic. After all, who doesn’t want to feel powerful? The answer lies in the inherent differences in how men and women perceive their physical safety.
Understanding Vulnerability
Women generally feel more physically vulnerable than men. Imagine gathering 100 men and 100 women in a room and asking how many felt their lives were threatened in the past month. Nearly all the women would raise their hands, compared to only a handful of men. For instance, consider a woman driving to work early in the morning. She pulls into an empty basement parking lot at 6 am. As she walks to the elevator, she’s likely looking over her shoulder, feeling anxious. A man in the same situation would be considerably less nervous.
Women are constantly aware of threats to their physical safety, which makes them inherently more vulnerable. As her boyfriend or husband, your role is to create an environment where she can flourish, operating in her natural, feminine energy.
The Flow State
Think about the times when you lose track of time doing something you love—a sport, a hobby, or even a task at work. You’re in the zone, running on instinct, operating without overthinking. This flow state is effortless and enjoyable. The same applies to your partner. You want her to spend as much time in her natural energy as possible, engaging in activities that come naturally to her. This makes her happy and fulfilled.
The Downside of Over-Acquiescing
When you constantly accede to her wishes, you disrupt this flow state. You make her too powerful, pushing her out of her feminine energy and into a more masculine energy, where she doesn’t want to be. She wants to feel contained, protected, and provided for. Holding onto the power in the relationship is crucial. She wouldn’t have it any other way.
Striking the Right Balance
To foster a healthy relationship, it’s essential to strike a balance. Being too agreeable can upset the natural dynamic, making her feel uncomfortable and pushing her out of her feminine energy. Instead, maintain your own boundaries and assertiveness. This balance allows her to operate in her natural energy, fostering happiness and fulfillment for both of you.
Conclusion
Being overly agreeable can harm your relationship by upsetting the power dynamics and pushing your partner out of her natural, feminine energy. Striking a balance between accommodating her needs and maintaining your own boundaries is crucial. This balance allows both partners to flourish, fostering a healthier, happier relationship. Remember, holding onto your power doesn’t mean being domineering; it means creating a space where both you and your partner can thrive in your natural states.
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