So, you're in a relationship, and you've built up a strong track record of good deeds. As a logical male, you see these as solid investments in the future of your relationship. You've bought her a car, taken her on a trip to Bali, welcomed her into your home, and even converted your study into a yoga studio. You look back at these investments and believe it was money well spent, intending to sit back a little and reap the benefits.
But here's the harsh truth: many men make the mistake of going into a new relationship hot and making numerous large initial investments. We think like financiers when, in reality, we should be thinking like accountants. These are not investments; they are expenses. Once spent, the benefits are enjoyed at the moment of spending, but thereafter, no further benefits accrue.
The Forward-Looking Nature of Relationships
Women are forward-looking. Sure, she may have enjoyed that trip to Bali, but that's in the past. She may have liked the photo you took of her leaning seductively against a palm tree and posted it on Instagram, but now she is looking forward. What’s next? What additional value will be coming her way? If she believes that future value is negligible, she will leave. She has no loyalty to you based on past performances. In fact, she firmly believes that past performances have no necessary bearing on the future.
The Danger of Front-Loaded Gestures
So, what's the point of all this? Men need to realize that it's a dangerous strategy to enter a relationship and shower her with benefits. Relationships should be treated like marathons, not sprints. Start off slow and understand she is always thinking, "What next?"
When you wake up in the morning, your balance is zero. You need to perform every day. As soon as you start resting on your laurels and believe you can coast and reap the benefits of past investments, she will start looking for alternative plans. What you think are investments are actually expenses. That's why you want to carefully spread them over the relationship and not make any large upfront gestures.
A Sustainable Approach
To build a lasting relationship, focus on consistency and sustainable growth. Here are a few tips:
Small, Meaningful Gestures: Regular small gestures of love and appreciation go a long way. They keep the relationship dynamic and show ongoing commitment.
Communication: Keep the lines of communication open. Understand her needs and express yours.
Shared Goals: Work together towards common goals. This creates a sense of partnership and shared future.
Personal Growth: Continue to grow and improve yourself. A relationship should be a partnership of equals, where both parties inspire and support each other.
Balance: Balance your efforts. Avoid the pitfall of front-loading your efforts and then coasting. Consistency is key.
In conclusion, don't fall into the trap of seeing your relationship deeds as investments that will yield future returns without further effort. Relationships require continuous input and forward-looking actions. Treat it like a marathon, not a sprint, and you'll build something truly lasting and meaningful.
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