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For 99% of human existence, we lived in communities. These were groups of twenty to thirty people who lived together, worked together, and died together. We felt a strong connection with these people – we could hang out, talk shit, celebrate our victories, share our defeats, talk about our fears. Then we have started living in apartments, condominiums, and suburbs. We went to work with people with whom we did not share the same values. We started eating alone. In 1954, Swanson invented the TV dinner. Millions of lonely people set up their folding tables in front of their TVs. Urbanization and urban densification have officially put an end to our tribal existence, and we are now paying the psychological price. So what happens to life outside of this tightly knit community? The first thing that happens is that we become acutely aware of being lonely, and therefore become very concerned about finding that special person that will complete our lives and make us eternally happy. They will put an end to our painful sadness and answer every single one of our social needs. Our need for connection can morph into a strong desire for success, fame, and recognition when maybe all we need is some good friends. Unfortunately, the concept of the commune does not have a good reputation. They often morph into religious fanaticism where messianic leaders use the female members as sex slaves, as the males dedicate themselves to polishing the leader's ego and his custom Rolls Royce. Million Man is a tribe – it is a place where we can regroup, lick our wounds, bitch and moan about the women in our lives, and then work on a collective plan to get ourselves out of this hole we are all in. The trick is to unteach ourselves all the lies we have learned about being a man. Here are FOUR reasons you should join the Million Man tribe. 1) Being Part of a Group There is strength in numbers. When you are part of a tribe, you are accountable to other people. This sense of connection helps to build your sense of self-worth. You become recognized. Your contribution is valued. You feel supported. It takes the pressure off you because you realize you are part of something bigger than yourself. 2) Sense of Purpose Men today are battling to find purpose and meaning. They have no interest in religion and the traditional purpose of being the breadwinner in a family is fading into the background as fewer young people are getting married. Million Man is founded on the purpose of building high-value men. It is this common purpose that will provide you direction and a sense of purpose. 3) Support “Boys don’t cry”. “Take it like a man”. All these cliches have a place. We are men. We are strong and you can rely on us. But men also need support. We need people to talk to and we need a non-judgemental place to do this. Romantic relationships are not the place, because these vulnerabilities will be used against us at a later date. We need a manly tribe. 4) Battling Loneliness The modern world is lonelier than the world that preceded it. We have never been more connected, yet we have never been so lonely. Loneliness is the disease of the 21st century. Million Man aims to put an end to that. Million Man is built on 4 uncompromising foundations: 1) Kindness – high-value men are friendly, generous, and considerate. 2) Shared vulnerability – the tribe is a place where we can be open about our worries and anxieties, and the problems that throw us off balance. 3) Understanding – everyone has their own quirks and idiosyncrasies. We embrace and learn from our differences. 4) Reassurance - we believe that everyone (man, woman and child) has a special superpower. We have the ability to give something to other people that these people crave, and that is reassurance. We are all haunted by doubts of our value. We are all concerned about the future. We are haunted by things we have done – they cause guilt and embarrassment. Everyone you meet, regardless of who they are, are being plagued by varying degrees of insecurity. Can you believe that even supermodels are insecure of their appearances? These people are desperately waiting for someone to say something to them. Million Man believes in the power of reassurance. Members need to hear they have a right to exist, that we are on their side. Words like: “I think you are going to be fine”, “everyone goes through this”, “there is nothing to be ashamed of”. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Few would deny the importance your parents played in your life. They molded you into who you are today. Sometimes the end product is fantastic – most times, however, it is far from a masterpiece. In this blog, I make an attempt to set some pointers as to the ingredients of an emotionally healthy childhood. If you experience some or all, you have won the lottery – call your parents immediately and thank them profusely. If not, go easy on them – all parents are way out of their depth. They do their best with what they got and had to make it up as they went along. I had a pretty great childhood – I was one of the lucky ones. It was my second marriage that fucked me up, but that is a story for another blog. Here are 5 pointers to assess whether or not you had an emotionally healthy childhood. 1) Centre of the Universe My mother put herself profoundly at my disposal and I felt safe and protected from all the chaos of the outside world. This is not to say that there were no hiccups along the way. When I was a toddler, my mother drove a Mini station wagon that had a faulty back door. Once, on pulling away from a red light, the door opened and I rolled into oncoming traffic – I luckily came out unscathed. She would refer to me as her wonderful child, even though I was many times a little fucking brat. I would break my tennis racket on the court in anger. My mother ran a kindergarten, and I was by far the worst behaved. She would tell all the kids to sit down, I would stand up. I would talk back to her, throw tantrums in the supermarket – I was a fucking nightmare. I grew up on a farm, and I was allowed to run amuck. I developed a strange passion for tractors. My biggest mate was a middle-aged Zulu man. I am embarrassed to say that I don’t know how to correctly write his name (phonetically, it was Ensefia), or even if he is still alive, but he was my hero because he drove the tractor on the farm. Even with this freedom, my mother always placed boundaries within which I could be myself, and I always felt unconditionally loved. I called her a couple of months ago, a few weeks after turning 50, and told her what a fantastic job she did on me – there is a special place in heaven for mothers. She allowed me to be a brat for a time. This freedom prepares you to submit to the demands of society. Rebellion comes from being exposed to rigid rules and ruthless application of them. My best friend at school had a mother who was a certifiable psychopath. If he didn’t score 100% on a test, she would go to the school and demand to see the exam to understand where he went wrong. When he left school, he choose the furthest university from his mother, got into drugs, and was killed in drug-related violence in his second year. 2) Small Things For small humans, small things are important. My mother would never minimize the importance of small things. I played competitive tennis when I was a kid (back to the reference of breaking rackets – I had a demonic temper). I was also manic about having one specific blue water bottle when I played – it had to be that blue bottle or I would lose my shit. This is a bit like Rafael Nadal – other than he is good! My mother would always remember this. She could have said – don’t be a stupid pussy – but she didn’t. Good parents don’t minimize the small things. Instead, they assure the kids they are important and will be fixed – like a tear in your favorite book, or losing the tail off your stuffed lion. 3) Strange Phases My parents let me go through numerous strange phases. I have an addictive personality – luckily, most of the addictions have been healthy because they were linked to sport. Around the age of 10, I got hooked on BMX racing. I was introduced to it by a friend of mine – his stepfather was an ex rally driver and now sold car batteries. He was a functional alcoholic. He was mean to his stepson but was great to me. He took a real interest in my BMX racing, and with that, I was introduced to the least desirable elements of town. We would travel around the country racing, and I would all the bad elements back home with me. How my parents put up with me, I have no idea. They knew that sanity would prevail. They had confidence that they have raised me right and I would work this strange phase through my system – and they were right. 4) No Perfection I am a perfectionist – I do everything at 1000%. They saw this, and they never placed too much importance on my achievements. I would bring back the perfect report card, or win a track race, or play an awesome round of golf. Their response – that nice, my boy. At the time, I hated the indifference, but as I grew older, I realized that this was not indifference. They were allowing me to be a normal kid – they were saying to me it was ok to be average and mediocre – because they knew how much pressure I was putting on myself – they did not think it wise to add more to the load. 5) Routine and Order I grew up in a household where drama was kept to a minimum. You could say it was boring and predictable. There was routine and order. When I got home from school, I knew what I would find – there were no surprises. My parents did not have a perfect marriage. Kids do not need to know all of the issues with which the parents are struggling. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Being clueless and immature when you are 18 is perfectly ok, but if you are still this way at 35, people will not be as thrilled with you. Peter Pan never grew up. He sacrifices the opportunity to have a relationship with Wendy and has to content himself with Tinkerbell (a fairy that does not really exist - in other words, porn). There is a sacrificial element to maturity. You need to assume responsibilities and find purpose, and this leads to happiness and fulfillment. Here are four ways to spot emotional immaturity. 1) You Hate Being Alone Being alone sucks. There is a reason why solitary confinement is torture and not a reward. When I got divorced for the second time and my daughter moved to the other side of the planet, I remember coming home after taking her to the airport. I stepped into this big empty house. I looked at my watch and thought – it's midday, and she will be back from school at 5. Then I realized – fuck! No, she won't be back. I was engulfed with an overwhelming sense of sadness. The reason people don’t like being alone is that they are emotionally immature. They do not know who they are – they do not know how to feel their own feelings. I was 49 and I didn’t have a fucking clue who I was. 2) You Don’t Remember Much about your Childhood Very few people had a happy childhood. This means that many people don’t want to go back there and process what happened. I forced myself to go back there and confront my demons, but I didn’t stop at my childhood – I also had to process shit from my adulthood. In my experience, the best way to process this shit was to write about it. I wrote down my life story – I discovered lots of great stuff, but also a lot of shit that I am trying to work through. This painful process has helped me discover more happiness in my life, and greater emotional maturity - although there is still a shitload of work to do. 3) You Don’t Like to Ask Uncomfortable Questions Why did my second marriage fail? What do I regret most from my childhood? There is no fun in addressing these issues, but they need to be addressed. These are two questions I have been running away from. My approach is to keep myself as busy as possible – working, surfing, riding my Harley, hanging out with friends, having sex, and sleeping. I could not run forever – and trust me, I tried. In those dark hours when you are lying awake if you have any sense of self-awareness, you need to step up and answer. Some people can run forever – not me! 4) You are Always in a Good Mood I am in a good mood most time, but I often get pissed off. People who are always shiny and happy do not have the resources to handle anything deeper or darker. This sugar-coated life is not real or meaningful – it is shallow and empty. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Men’s sexual satisfaction peaks in their 20s. Why, then, are men in their 20s abstaining from sex? Ten years ago, the percentage of men in their 20s in the US that had not had sex in the past year was 10%. Today, this number has spiked to 30%. Young men are withdrawing into the online world and are consuming more pornography. They are also living longer with their parents, which is a real boner killer. But the strongest reason is that women are becoming more selective about who they drop their panties for. They are focusing more on their careers, and delaying marriage plans or canceling them altogether. As women progress in their careers and start to unlock their economic potential, they also see their sexual market value increase. Women are hypergamous by nature – they only want to hook up with men on the same socio-economic level or higher. Given that men are in a throes of a crisis, this pool of dateable/fuckable men is declining. A smaller number of alpha-type men are having more sex. The Pareto principle of 80/20 is in play – 20% of men are having 80% of the sex. I am going to teach you how to make women develop a powerful desire for you. But let me warn you, to be successful with women, you need to go against EVERYTHING you think you know about the sexual market. In my opinion, there are four things that women look for (in addition to the obvious things like: how you dress, body language, fitness and health, perceived level of resources and social status) 1) High Internal Value Million Man focuses on building high-value men. High-value men have high self-worth and they project this through their actions. This is where most men fuck up. They focus on cockiness. Cockiness is about comparison – putting other people down so you look better. This is arrogance. High-value men are not arrogant. High value is the feeling you are awesome….period. It is comparison-free. The value of high-value men is independent of the value of others. She thinks about you in the same way you think about yourself – provided your actions and behavior project this. Here are some practical tips: Lots of men focus on convincing women to like them. Men are practical and competitive. They approach the sexual market like salesmen – they need to sell themselves. You need to flip this on its fucking head. Instead of you selling yourself to them, make women sell themselves to you – make them convince you why you should like them. You need to take EVERY insult from a woman as a massive compliment! Yes, you read that correctly. Do not focus on what women say – FOCUS ON WHAT THEY DO. Pay more attention to the context of the words, instead of the words themselves. The next time a woman insults you, say: you are so adorable, thank you so much for that….and then flash a winning smile. If you are telling her a story, and you are interrupted (for example by the waiter or by her), DO NOT continue the story unless she asks you. When she finishes a thought/story/comment/suggestion, wait THREE seconds before saying anything. This pause is powerful. This is what is going to happen – she will fill the silence. It shows you don’t need to convince her about your awesomeness. You have two ears and only one mouth for a reason – listen more than you talk. She must do 80% of the talking, and you need to listen like a fucking ninja. Look at her as if she is giving you the keys to heaven. Make her feel she is the only person on the planet – a 20-ton truck could come crashing through the wall and you would not break eye contact. Ask her open-ended questions that will leave her talking for a long time – DO NOT ASK “YES” OR “NO” QUESTIONS! Your secret weapon phrase is this….that is fascinating, tell me more about x” Your body language must be open and big. Stand up straight and make yourself look tall. When seated, do not fold your arms. You need to sit confidently – shoulders back, hands on your thighs, and legs uncrossed. Ask questions that are unusual and penetrate her primal being. How about this: what is something awesome about you I would not know by looking at you? Women love approval – that is the reason half of them are on Instagram. Do not be a dickhead and disagree when she is sharing something deep and personal – that will hurt her feelings. Do not shower her with compliments – you will come across as needy. You are allowed to make one hyperbole (over-the-top compliment) per encounter. The compliment must be about her. For example, can you see the difference between these two statements: “that dress is spectacular” and “you look spectacular in that dress”? Free tip: most women love shoes – compliment her shoes. Learn how to flirt. Flirting is verbal and nonverbal, and most men suck at verbal flirting because you are in dangerous waters. You want to tease her without insulting her. I like to use the rule of three – it establishes a pattern and then ends with something unexpected. For example, you say two ordinary things and the third thing is unusual (For example: my favorite colors are blue, green, and the color of your panties). Learn how to mirror. To make a connection, you need to mirror her verbally and non-verbally. We like people like ourselves. Verbally, you must mirror her speed, tone, vocabulary, and volume of speech. You must use the same words she uses. You also want to mirror her nonverbal communication – how she sits, gestures, etc. Mimicking her posture and mannerisms will subconsciously convince her of commonalities which leads to attraction and desire. Exercise: Go to a coffee shop and find a hottie that is sitting a couple of meters away. As unobtrusively as possible, start to mirror her gestures and mannerisms and see what happens in 5 to 10 minutes. You will get in sync with each other - and then go to her place and break her bed! 2) Internal Strengths I am no fan of Donald Trump, but he made a good point in “The Art of the Deal”. In any business negotiation, you must be prepared to walk away. Your ability to say no/disagree/ leave her is a powerful aphrodisiac. If she knows you can walk away from her and be fine, her lust for you will be atomic. Here are FOUR ways to practically demonstrate your inner strength: If you disagree with her on a major (or semi-major issue), say so. I am not talking about inconsequential issues – like whether “Pretty Woman” was a great or shit movie. If you see her flirting with other guys, DO NOT react. All men in the world are your brothers – that is a key tenet of Million Man. She may mention old boyfriends on purpose to see how you would react. DO NOT react – you are the master of your emotions. Say “No” to her at least once a month. If she threatens to leave, let her go – DO NOT BEG HER TO STAY. 3) Pre-Selection Women do not like men who cheat, but they are attracted to men who COULD cheat. If a woman thinks that other women on her level are attracted to you, she too will be attracted to you. There is a video on YouTube where an average looking guy got three hot girls and one cameraman to walk with him through a shopping mall. The girls were hanging on his arm and the cameraman was recording them walking in and out of shops. The interesting reaction was that of other women in the mall. They were intrigued by this very average-looking dude – what did these three hot girls see in him, he must be famous/rich/unique/interesting. Both men and women are interested in their partner's notch count (how many previous sexual partners they have had). They are interested for different reasons. Men want to know the suitability of that woman to bear his children. Women want to know how many other women find this man desirable. Nothing good can ever come from telling a woman your notch count. When she asks you how many sexual partners you have had, you need to deflect as quickly as possible. Your best answer: Today? Not that many…. 4) Challenge She must earn your attention and she must chase you – YOU MUST NEVER CHASE HER! Do not text her 100 times a day. You need to be a little mysterious – play a little hard to get without being a douchebag. Here are some useful tips: Go easy on the compliments (remember: maximum one per encounter). You can also use the push/pull principle in compliments – compliment her (push) and then create some doubt (pull). For example, You are fucking sexy, but can you cook? Do not do any major favors for her in the first 3 months - never take her to the airport. If you have an amazing date, do not immediately text her or set up the next date. Say, thanks for a great time. Maintain your mystery – do not tell her all your secrets/hobbies/interests. Hold stuff back to keep her interest piqued. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Henry Thoreau said most people live lives of quiet desperation. We have every intention to move forward, progress, grow, take a jump, or risk something. However, there is a stronger force that convinces us to do nothing. You may be stuck in a bullshit finance job that is sapping every ounce of joy from your life – but the money is good and you have a huge mortgage. You want to tell your boss to fuck off and pursue your dream of opening a business restoring and selling vintage motorcycles. But you are blocked by a tsunami of doubts and hesitations. What will my friends say? What would my nagging unbearable wife think? My mother would freak out and my father would write me out of his will. With the accumulation of weeks, months, and years you become more anxious and disgusted by yourself. You have grown so accustomed to your comfortable, mediocre life that has been engineered to please everyone on the fucking planet except for yourself. This is what you need to do to rectify this situation. 1) Stop Worrying About What Other People Think One of the secrets of life is controlling things you can and not giving a fuck about things you cannot – and knowing how to differentiate between the two. You cannot control what other people think of you, so stop worrying about it! Take a few seconds to think of how your concern for other people’s opinions paralyzes you. For example, you are about to close the deal of your career but the prospective client is not returning your calls. You know that if you keep pressurizing, he will sign, but then you get self-conscious. You are concerned that if you keep calling, the prospect will think you are a dickhead. WHO CARES WHAT HE THINKS – he needs what you are selling so close the deal! I understand this is easier said than done, especially with regard to people close to you like your parents. It is one thing to say you are going to stop giving a fuck about the opinion of your next-door neighbor, but completely different when it comes to your parents. You need to approach this topic with greater sensitivity. How about this, when telling your mother you want to drop out of law school to trade cryptocurrencies: "Mom, I love you with all my heart, but if I become a lawyer, I am going to become bitter, twisted, and resentful. I respect you but I need to forge my own path and I hate to say this, but I don’t care what you think”. 2) Stop Being a People Pleaser This is a pattern of behavior riddled with problems. You spend your life molding your life around the expectations of others. This manifests into agreeing to plans you hate. You may have come from a long line of medical doctors. Your father, therefore, assumed that you too would follow his path and go to medical school, however, you always wanted to be a professional ballet dancer. This means you never express your authentic ambitions – you are living a life that is a desperate lie. If you look at this in the cold hard light of day, you are a liar – but you are not doing this for your own pleasure, but rather for the pleasure of others. 3) Learn How to be Selfish Being agreeable and selfless again means you are catering to everyone other than yourself - can you see a pattern here? This leads to resentment. The problem that most people encounter is they cannot differentiate between good and bad versions of selfishness. It takes wisdom to sometimes give priority to yourself. It takes confidence to be forthright about your own needs. And there is the counterintuitive byproduct of good selfishness – you actually will better serve the people in your life with good selfishness than you will with selflessness. Take the example of parenting. To be a good parent, you may need a couple of hours per day to yourself to attend to personal matters – go for a run, go to the gym, shower, read, meditate. This helps the parent to recharge and thereby better fulfill their parenting duties. The problem is that most parents do not do this – they power through like zombies and soon become ragged, bitter, and resentful. This can turn them into highly disagreeable and ineffective parents. Good selfishness (which comes through wisdom) is the knowledge of what we need for ourselves to maximize our utility to others. We may need to back away from things people would like us to do. People that say yes to everything eventually explode into a vindictive rage. To avoid being labeled as selfish, you need to become a better communicator of your intentions. 4) Don’t Be Afraid of Happiness This may sound like the dumbest sentence you have read all day. Who in their sane minds would be afraid of happiness? It is more common than you think. Maybe someone very important to you as a child was deeply unhappy. You, as an adult, assume that same mindset as a secret tribute to them. You being happy, therefore, in some twisted way is seen as a betrayal to that person. This can lead to some fucked behavior on your part. You may pursue a modest career because they never had possibilities. You do not pursue sexual opportunities because they were sexually neglected. You associate gloom with safety and joy with risk – you take no risks and you continue in a life of quiet desperation. You may also have grown up in an environment where sadness and anxiety were the default, and happiness does not come naturally. You become a manic worrier and you are not prepared to make a huge lifestyle leap that will set you up for happiness. 5) Be Brave Courage is not fearlessness – it is taking action despite the fear you feel. Fear is often good because it keeps you alive. Your brain is hardwired for self-preservation. Fear of rattlesnakes is a good thing. But sometimes fear makes you small, timid, and powerless. For example, fear of rejection may keep you single when you want to be in a relationship. By confronting your fears, you become brave. Courage means moving forward in the face of fear and taking chances. To get out of your rut, you need to be brave. ​Taking risks is not the same as being reckless. Being courageous is about thinking things through, examining the risks and rewards, and acting despite the fear that inevitably sets in. Courage boosts your self-confidence and allows you to believe in your abilities, and pursue your goals. Fear keeps you in your comfort zone, playing video games and watching porn. Courage is a muscle that needs to be exercised. Every day you want to find ways to flex your courage muscles. The time has come to make that giant leap in your life – make important changes that will make you happier and fulfilled. Quit that high-paying corporate job, take a pay cut and pursue the career that makes you happy. Get out of the rut you have been living in for all the years. Go out and make your dent in the universe. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Flattery can be a powerful weapon provided it is correctly deployed. Let’s take a parenting situation – big brother is being a shit to his little brother. As opposed to scolding the big brother, the parents comment on how nice it is that he is kind to the little bugger. Provided the older brother is not a cold-blooded sociopath, this flattery will serve to concrete positive reinforcement in the mind of the child to which he would strive. My ex-wife used to deploy flattery very successfully. She used to love coffee in bed in the morning – she said I made the best coffee in the world – needless to say, she always got coffee in bed. She also said that I was an exceptional ironer of laundry (especially dress shirts) – and like a complete idiot, I fell for that. People are afraid to give positive reinforcement. They are concerned it will lead to laziness. Do not tell your husband he is handy around the house, because then he will rest on his laurels. Most humans are not wired that way. Positive energy breeds more positive energy and then creates the desire to be even better and do more. Motivation does not cause people to take their foot off the gas, it makes them push harder on the accelerator. This goes back to the mantra that success breeds success. Oscar Niemeyer, a Brazilian architect, was called upon to design the new capital city of Brasilia in the 1960s. I traveled to Brazil regularly on business and if you had to describe it in a few words, they would be: vibrant, flamboyant, rumba, soccer, passion, and political debate. If, however, you travel to Brasilia, you will see a design that is very un-Brazilian. The architecture is very clean and futuristic. The architect wanted to project what Brazil should be in the future – rational, orderly, powerful, and formal He was projecting a future in which there was no corruption and chaos. This is a complex case of flattery. Journalists asked Niemeyer why he designed a city so unlike the country it represented and his reply was: Brazil would not always be that way. We all crave flattery – other people’s belief in us in order to bolster the way we see ourselves. We see this as the opportunity to grow into the person that is being described to us in the flattery. You can powerfully deploy this in your professional and personal relationships. The trick is to ensure that the flattery is honest and genuine - otherwise, the person being flattered will think you are dickhead blowing wind up their ass to get something. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Anxiety is a killer – everyone experiences it in some form or other. It forces you to retreat and makes you small and passive. Success in life is predicated on your ability to advance, think big, and be active. Anxiety today is one of the key reasons people feel unfulfilled socially and professionally. You will never eliminate this silent assassin, but you can punch it in the mouth. A low sense of self-worth is the core of anxiety. The reason you are anxious bad things will happen to you is because you irrationally believe bad things should happen to you. Rebuilding your self-worth does not happen overnight. It is a lifetime process but knowing the underlying cause of the anxiety is a giant step in the right direction. Here are SIX practical things that you can start doing today to tame your anxiety. 1) Write this Shit Down Keep a journal and write down what is making you anxious. This process of giving physical form to an unseen threat is a very powerful step towards becoming a conqueror. Writing is organized thinking. By forcing yourself to organize your mind and verbalize the source of the anxiety, you can generate some space between you and the threat. You can then step back and have a look at it more objectively in the cold hard light of day. One of my biggest fears is growing old alone. I am 50 years old and two times divorced. I live alone – my parents and siblings live 2,000km away and my daughter lives 14,000km away – so I am doing a good job in realising this fear. In my first romantic relationship after my second divorce, all that paranoia came bubbling to the top. I went all-in the relationship and ended up breaking the poor woman’s heart. I was driving at 100km/h when I should have been walking at 5km/h. By writing this shit down, it helped me to pace myself in future relationships. 2) Speak to Someone If you find it hard to write and you don’t mind shelling out some cash, go and see a shrink. I am more of an investor than a spender, so I always opt for the first approach of writing things down. If you can find a good shrink, they can help you rebuild your self-esteem. They can do what your parents/caregivers failed to do – reinforce and mirror to you a positive sense of worth and self-esteem. It is so much easier when you are a kid walking around in diapers and eating mud in your backyard, but if you enter into adulthood with low self-esteem, this is not a death sentence. 3) Meditate I hate meditating because I am a hyperactive nutcase that cannot sit still for 2 seconds. I do everything fast – drive fast, eat fast, talk fast. For me to sit down for 10 minutes, on a yoga mat, and try and empty my mind is more difficult than climbing Everest, and I live 50 meters away from the beach. I can hear the waves crashing against the shore. I live in a perfect location for meditation yet I still battle to meditate. 4) Live in the Present A Chinese proverb says that if you are worried about the past you are depressed, and if you worry about the future you are anxious – you need to focus on living in the present. That is why I love doing sports, and riding my Harley, because it forces you into the present. Meditation also forces you into the present, but if you are a nutcase like me, sport and Harleys is an easier option 5) Eat well and Get Plenty of Sleep You need to be very careful with your brain because it can and will play tricks on you. The brain is a powerful beast, but it is riddled with flaws. The brain was first designed to identify threats – wild animals that could enter your cave and eat you in your sleep, invading tribes that wanted to steal your food, and women. Luckily, many of these threats have disappeared but the configuration of the brain is still more or less the same. This faulty brain does not normally notice the role of sleep and blood sugar in the formation of ideas. So the brain might tell you to do something stupid (like get divorced or quit your job) instead of taking a nap or having a snack to get your blood sugar levels up. You are not yourself when you are hungry or sleep deprived – you are more vulnerable to feelings of anxiety. 6) Keep Your Brain Busy When you have too much time on your hands, your mind tends to wander. I retired when I was 48. By the time I was 50, my second marriage had ended and I had too much time on my hands. My mind started to wonder – and not always in a good way. Fuck, was I going to be alone for the rest of my life – was I going to be that crazy old man that shouts at the neighbors to turn the music down? Would I die alone in my sleep and only be discovered when a horrible stench wafted across the overgrown grass of my garden into the road? The mind works in unusual ways. We believe that once work is done and the summit has been reached, the mind will be content and will cease with its restlessness. Nothing could be further from the truth. The brain can only handle short periods of idleness, after which it will start with its fucking nagging. Pretty soon it will start to question if you are worthy or not. By keeping yourself busy, you are able to tame your nagging brain, and keep your anxiety in check. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Million Man is about transforming yourself from MINION TO MASTER. What is a minion? A minion is a follower, a slave, a yes-man, a lackey, a parasite. He has no backbone – he is controlled by others. EVERYONE WALKS OVER A MINION. He is a passive victim – life happens to him, he does not make life happen. A MASTER IS IN CONTROL. He makes things happen. He takes charge and takes responsibility for his successes, and his failures. High-value men are masters of their lives. Here are 10 traits that define high-value men. 1) They Have No Sense of Entitlement They do not believe they are entitled to anything. They do not say things like – I deserve success, I deserve to be rich, I deserve to drive a fancy car. They do not deserve anything. They go out into the world and, through their hard work, dedication, and commitment, obtain these things. Millennials feel entitled. They have been spoilt rotten by their baby boomer parents who wanted their kids to lack for nothing. This sense of entitlement leads them to believe that success and fulfillment should come easy – the problem is that it does not. How do you know if you are self-entitled? You are known for fits of rage surpassing any tantrum a toddler may throw, and the worst thing is that you believe it is justified. ‘I can’t believe I have to work with such morons’ and other such inappropriate outbursts flow freely from your mouth. 2) They Take Responsibility They own the outcome of their actions. They do not talk about luck, fate, or destiny. They take ownership of both their successes and their failures. This means they do not blame other people – they never play the victim card. They accept that they are masters of their souls, captains of their fate. Who better role model for a high-value man than Nelson Mandela! He took responsibility for his actions. They were illegal but they were committed against an unjust regime. It would have been “justified” for him not to take responsibility. He spent almost 30 years in jail, and he never played the victim card. 3) They are Active, not Passive High-value men go out in the world and make things happen. They grab life by the scruff of the neck and give it a good kick up the ass. They don’t sit at home waiting for the phone to ring, or for the girl to send them a text message. When there is an emergency, they are the first ones to rush in and help Who were the first to run into the collapsing Twin Towers in 2001? The New York firemen – the epitome of high-value men. 4) They Know how to Suffer They know how to suffer and persevere. High-value men do not give up – they hold their course. I live in Cape Town – I love being outdoors. In Cape Town, when it is rainy and windy, everyone stays home. I grab my running shoes, my bike, or my surfboard and I head out into the elements. I love knowing that I am the only nutcase out there. The waves will thrash me around, but they won't kill me – and whatever doesn’t kill me, makes me stronger. That pain is real and makes you feel alive. Life is hard – to make your mark, you don’t need to be fast, you need to endure, and suffer more than your competitor. 5) They are Goal Orientated High-value men set goals – short term, medium term, long term. They know where they want to be in one day, 6 months, and ten years. They make to-do lists. They understand that humans are mobile creatures – fulfillment comes through growth and movement. The goals they set are attainable, but not too attainable. While everyone is running 10km, they are running 12km. Everyone is bench pressing their body weight, they are benching their body weight plus 10%. Everyone is saving 25% of their income, they are saving 30%. They marginally set their goal above the rest, because they understand the importance of outperforming. 6) They are Humble, but not Timid Their humility is rooted in the fact they know they don’t know everything and are always learning. High-value men know what they know, but also know what they don’t know. This understanding that they have limitations, makes them humble, but not timid. High-value men know that humility is a strength and not a weakness because it is an asset for self-improvement. They know that their life is a work in progress and they are still striving toward excellence. Humble men are coachable and allow criticism to fuel development rather than resentment. They apologize after making a mistake. They help others who are below them in skill to improve rather than looking down on them. 7) They are Confident but Not Arrogant Confidence is the absolute knowledge of your real abilities. Arrogance is the belief that you are better than someone else based on an exaggerated sense of your abilities. Can you see how a high-value man is not arrogant? Arrogant people brag about their achievements, skills, and abilities, and often ignore those around them. In meetings, for example, arrogant people generally seek the spotlight. Consciously or unconsciously, they make others feel less important. Conversely, high-value men shine a light on their colleagues' achievements in meetings or group work. They ask for input, encourage teamwork, and generously praise their co-workers. 8) Honour Their Mothers, Forgive their Fathers As divorce rates increase, more young men are being raised by single mothers, and do not have strong father figures in their lives. High-value men rise above these disadvantages and honor the selfless work of their mothers, forgive the absence of their fathers. Not all high-value men find themselves in this situation, but this is turning out to be the rule more than the exception. 9) They Lack Prejudice High-value men rate everyone impartially. They will treat the CEO of a multi-national corporation with the same respect and dignity as the car guard. If you want to know if someone is of high value, pay special attention to how they treat ordinary people. How does he talk to the waiter at the restaurant, to the lady that packs his groceries, to the Uber driver? I have heard of job interviews where the candidate is asked about their Uber score. High scores show impartiality, and therefore high value. A low score shows prejudice and low value. High-value men do not prejudge based on class, race, education, and culture. 10) They are Educated This does not necessarily refer to formal education. It is possible not to have gone to university and still be educated. It is a demonstrated ability to listen carefully, think critically, evaluate facts rigorously, reason analytically, imagine creatively, articulate interesting questions, explore alternative viewpoints, maintain intellectual curiosity, and speak and write persuasively. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

Everyone wants to be of high value – employers, employees, husbands, boyfriends, fathers, brothers – the list keeps getting longer. Here are fifteen easy ways in which you can increase your value today. 1) Start Doing Things Slowly and Deliberately What comes to mind when you see a flustered guy pacing up and down the aisle of a supermarket looking frantically for his favorite brand of instant mocha cappuccino. What a pear-faced loser. Contrast this to a man who walks slowly into a coffee shop, takes his time to peruse the menu, leans forward slowly towards the cute barista, looks her in the eye, pauses 3 seconds, and orders a double espresso. Which of these two characters is projecting a higher value? The answer is quite obvious. If you are a fast talker, slow down. If you are a fast walker, slow down. If you move your head and arms around a lot – don’t stop, but start slowing things down. This is not to say you should move at the speed of a three-toed Amazonian tree sloth. All that I want you to do is be more deliberate in your actions without becoming overly self-conscious – because there is nothing that screams out low value more than being obsessively self-conscious. Your slow deliberation needs to be deeply rooted in a strong sense of confidence. 2) Stop Being Scared Fear makes you small, timid, and anxious. Not all fear is necessarily bad. Your brain is hardwired to fear things that will might kill you – like rattlesnakes, sharks, and overly friendly hot women. Being fearless does not mean the absence of fear – it means overcoming your fears and moving forward. Before the pandemic, I delivered 500 presentations a year. Like most people who are not sociopaths, I get extremely nervous before a presentation, but I do them anyway and have learned to conceal my nerves. Make a list of at least 10 things that terrify the living shit out of you – for example: strike up a conversation with a pretty stranger, leave your phone at home for the day, go to a movie or restaurant by yourself, post a video of yourself on social media doing some arbitrary activity, compliment someone who is not expecting it, ask a complete stranger for a favour, say no to a person to whom you often say yes. The objective is to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable to being rejected. There must be some personal risk to you. If not, then there is no reason to embark on the exercise – you might as well stay at home and cultivate your low value. 3) Avoid Pointless Fighting I have some Irish blood coursing through my veins. This means that I love to argue – and will argue often just for the sake of doing it. I did this until I realized that it leads to pointless fighting. It is petty, vain, and inconsequential. The only thing it achieves is to waste time and piss someone off. There is a good reason why you have two ears and only one mouth – be quick to listen and slow to open your mouth. 4) Take Care of Yourself If you want to feel high value, you need to feel good. Do you feel good when you don’t exercise, eat junk food and never take a bath? No! This is so fucking obvious, yet the vast majority of people choose not to take care of themselves. It makes no sense to me. How hard is it to put a pair of comfortable shoes on, leave the house and walk, run or jog 5km every other day? How difficult is it to stop buying processed shit food like potato chips and fizzy drinks, and buy fruit, vegetables and drink filtered water? No-one does these things – they would rather spend money on a belt that sucks in their fat gut and pull up to a Macdonald's drive-thru. It makes no sense to me – exercise fills your body with addictive endorphins. Eating healthy makes you feel agile, nimble, and fresh. Don’t think about it -just do it. 5) Never Assume You are Great at Sex Assumptions are the mother of all fuck ups. Great sex is all about the chemistry between two people. If there is chemistry, the sex will be fantastic – if there is not chemistry, sex is like kissing your sister. You could be the greatest lover on the planet, but if your partner is not into you, she will be making a to-do list in her mind during sexual congress. So how do you make sure she is into you? Become a master of foreplay. Understand that her strongest sex organ is between her ears. You need to learn how to flirt, tease, arouse, and drive her crazy before the clothes come flying off. 6) Do Not Seek Out Numbness Alcohol and binge-watching Netflix leads you into a position of comfort and stagnation. Being numb means you lose sensitivity to the real people and events around you. High-value men add value to other people's lives. They enhance and enrich, they lift other people up. They can bring out the best in others – how the hell are you going to do all these things if you are fully anesthetized? 7) Find Happiness in Purpose Find your purpose and pursue it with every ounce in your body. Happiness comes through responsibility and being accountable to both yourself and others. Purpose comes through dedicating yourself to a cause beyond yourself. The most important thing about purpose is that it gives you direction. Human beings are happiest when they are working towards a goal – where there is movement and progress. 8) Volunteer Your Time High-value men seek to better their societies. It is nobler to donate time than money. Donating money is too easy. It makes you a man of value, but not a man of high value. Volunteering your time is not a completely selfless act – not only does it bring happiness to the beneficiary, but you also feel pretty great about yourself in a non-egotistical, non-dickhead way. 9) Don’t Rely on Other People to Make you Happy Find your own happiness – find happiness in the things you love. If you buy into the Disney fantasy bullshit that you will rescue the sexy damsel with the unnaturally long blonde hair that is being held captive in a tower, and she will make you happy for the rest of your life, then you are a romantic sucker. Your lover will let you down, your parents will disappoint you and your friends may forget your birthday. If these events are going to destroy your “happiness”, then you have to question whether you were truly happy in the first place. Relying on other people to make you happy means you are setting yourself up to become a victim. When you tell someone they make you so happy, you are abdicating your responsibility as a high-value man, and setting yourself up for a lonely and unhappy life. 10) Be Prepared for a Fight (...but do not seek one out) Be prepared to stand your ground if someone starts to intimidate you. This does not mean you should be a bonehead and go out of your way to piss off the juiced-up bodybuilder standing at the bar in his tank top and fanny pack! But when he starts making a move on your girl, stand your ground and hit him where it hurts (which is typically located close to the aforementioned fanny pack!) 11) Pursue Your Dreams Without Embarrassment It is better to pursue what makes you happy despite what other people say than to live a life in the narrow channel of their approval. I am amazed by the time we spend trying to impress people we do not even like. Who cares if you want to dedicate yourself to ballroom dancing -if it makes you happy, do so unapologetically and dedicate yourself to it 1000%. 12) Don’t be Afraid to Rest Sleep is your secret weapon. Have you ever wondered why Red Bull sponsors the most expensive sport in the world? It makes so much fucking money because the entire human race is low on energy and will pay a ridiculous amount of money to keep sucking away on those blue and silver cans of overpriced caffeine. Instead of hurling cash into the coffers of Red Bull, why don’t you invest in a high-quality mattress, stop jerking off to online porn all night, and get some high-quality Zs? 13) Do Not Break Promises High-value men are men of their word. When they say they will do something, that commitment forms a binding social contract in their brains. There is nothing more low value than insipid, wishy-washy, spineless, stick-figure men that are swayed from side to side by public opinion. Being a man of your word means you are assertive, and you are not a people pleaser. When the host makes a racist remark at a dinner party, call them out for being a narrow-minded bigot. That may be the last invitation you get, but who cares. 14) Lean into Discomfort Our brains are hardwired to want calories, sexual gratification, and leisure. Muscle growth, education, and success all grow from the soil of pain. You do the maths. If you are not prepared to lean into discomfort, you are going to be an overweight, sad forty-year-old virgin living in the basement of your parent's house. 15) Lower Your Expectations in Others High-value men have low expectations of others. Instead of expecting other people to do things for them, they concentrate all that responsibility on themselves and take ownership of their outcomes. Stop being a passenger, jump into the driver’s seat, and hit the gas. Stop being passive and be active – get shit done. Instead of sitting behind a screen and watching YouTube videos, and expecting that success will miraculously fall out of the fucking sky and into your lap, get out the front door and start executing on the plans. #financetips#moneytips#businesstip#investingtips#richandfamous#cryptocoin#stockstowatch#smallbusinessgrowth#moneycoach#wealthymen#moneypower#millennialmoney#moneyfreedom#rebelmoney#rebel

Being young, clueless and immature when you are 18 is perfecly ok, but if you are still this way at 35, people will not be as thrilled with you. Peter Pan never grew up. He sacrifices the opportunity to have a relationship with Wendy, and has to content himself with Tinkerbell (a fairy that does not really exist - in other words porn). There is a sacrificial element to maturity. You need to assume responsibilities and find purpose, and this leads to happiness and fulfillment. I have compiled a quick 20 point check list to help you understand the progress you are making on the path to emotional maturity. If you cannot tick off a single of these 20 boxes, then your life is going to be nasty and miserable. 1) You realize most people’s behavior is rooted in fear and anxiety – not because they are dickheads. 2) You are a good communicator. You realize that what is in your head is not readily understood by other people – it is necessary to clearly articulate them in words. 3) You realize you are sometimes wrong. 4) Confidence is the realization that everyone is more or less clueless and making it up as they go along. 5) You forgive your parents for their shortcomings. They did their best in the circumstances. They found themselves out of their depth with demons of their own. 6) You realize the enormous influence of external stimuli on your mood e.g., sleep, food, alcohol. You quickly learn never to bring up contentious issue unless everyone is well rested, well fed, sober and no one needs to rush out and catch a bus. 7) You give up sulking. You no longer use the phrase – they should have known how I was feeling when they said those nasty words. 8) You give up on the notion of perfection, and you pivot to “good enough”. You realize that many things in your life are good enough. 9) You are slightly less optimistic and sightly more pessimistic. You take off those rose-tinted spectacles. 10) You look at people in a more balanced way. Someone who is pedantic is now precise and thorough in times of turmoil. Someone is messy, but at the same time is creative and a visionary. 11) You fall in love a little less easily. You develop loyalty to what you already have. Most people, upon closer inspection, turn out to be a bit of a pain in the arse. 12) You realize you are quite a difficult person to live with. 13) You learn to forgive yourself for errors and foolishness. You realize the foolishness of flogging yourself for old mistakes. 14) You make peace with the stubborn bits of you of which you will never get rid. 15) You cease to put hope in great plans that you believe could make you happy and you start to celebrate the little things in life. You develop a taste for small pleasures. 16) What people think of you ceases to be of concern to you. 17) You have more patience with criticism – you are less defensive 18) You have more perspective – take a step back. 19) You realize your past colors your response to certain events. You have a predisposition to exaggerate in certain areas. You become suspicious of your first impulses on certain topics. 20) When you start friendships, you realize your new friends do not want to hear your good news – they are more interested in your trials and tribulations so they can feel better about their own lives. #lifecoach #motivation #lifecoaching #coaching #love #mindset #coach #inspiration #selflove #life #success #selfcare #lifestyle #mentalhealth #mindfulness #personaldevelopment #entrepreneur #goals #happiness #meditation #loveyourself #healing #motivationalquotes #lifequotes #positivevibes #fitness #businesscoach #motivationalspeaker #business

If you are looking for the secret to long lasting business, personal, romantic and social relationships, you should have ZERO expectations. Here are FIVE reasons you want to lower your expectations in others and get them as close to zero as possible. 1) Expectations Breed Entitlement If you have every found yourself thinking: "I deserve.......", then you have a big fucking problem. You are entitled to NOTHING! You deserve nothing. You should expect absolutely nothing because until you take full responsibility for your decisions and actions, you will always be a passive victim and you will never achieve anything in life. 2) Expectations Don’t Differentiate between “Want” and “Should” If you are full of expectations, it is difficult to differentiate between what you want to do and what you should do. Freedom is the ability to do the things that you want to do. Slavery is doing the things that you think you should do. This is short and sweet. Doing things that you are expected to do creates resentment, especially if you also expect to be thanked for doing these things. One of the biggest reasons why my second marriage failed is because I did things I thought I was expected to do, and was then supremely pissed off when my ex-wife did not show any gratitude for the things I was doing. The resentment grew until it exploded. 3) Expectations are Often Unrealistic Let me give you a quick list of expectations that many people unwittingly have tattooed onto their sub conscious: 1) opportunities should fall into my lap, 2) people should like me, 3) people know what I am trying to say, 4) physical possesions will make me happy, and 5) I can change him/her. All these expectations are horribly false and will systematically ruin your life. Lets address each if these unrealistic expectations: 1) you need to work hard and create opportunities, 2) some people will think you are a dickhead (who cares), 3) people are clueless as to what you are trying to say (you need to make more effort to make yourself understood), 4) physical possessions will be making you fucking miserable, and 5) no, there is no way you are going to be able to mold the person into who you want (accept them for who they are and move forward). 4) Expectations Lead to Resentment You are in the underground heading off to work on the Monday after Christmas. You are tired and hungover, and feel like a zombie. You find yourself a seat, set your Spotify to some soothing adult contemporary music, and then an old lady walks in. You do the gentlemanly thing and offer her your seat. She takes the offer and doesn’t bother to say thank you. You immediately think that she is an ungrateful cow and hopes that she swallows her false teeth. For the next 10 minutes, your resentment grows, your body fills with stressful cortisone, and then you die before the train reaches the next stop. If only you had read this piece and realized the importance of having no expectations and not giving a fuck, you would have been happily in your cubicle, doing your bullshit job, writing that useless report that no one was going to read, and everyone lives happily ever after! 5) Expectations are Subjective If you think expectations are truths, then you are in for a very disappointing life. Expected behavior in situations differ wildly from person to person. What one person expects may be very far from what another person expects. When I moved to Mexico City, I quickly realized that business meetings run on a different agenda when compared to London and South Africa. In the latter two places, introductions are swift, and you jump straight onto business. In Mexico, the first 10 minutes is general small talk about what is happening in the city, country or world. Then next ten minutes is personal small talk – talking about family, friends, lovers and golfing buddies. Then and only then, do you jump into the filthy part of talking business. This drove me nuts - I am impatient, time is money and I don’t care about the fucking weather. I learned to have zero expectations as to when or sometimes even if, we would reach the business end of the interaction. You may take a client to lunch and he may do his best to avoid the topic of business altogether. So, this is what you need to do. You need to execute a mass transferal of expectations that you have placed in other people, and invest them in yourself. Instead of expecting other people to do things for you, concentrate all that responsibility on yourself and take ownership of your outcomes. Stop being a passenger, jump into the driver’s seat and hit the gas. Stop being passive and be active – get shit done. Instead of sitting behind a screen and watching YouTube videos, and expecting that success will in some miraculous way fall out of the fucking sky and into your lap, get out the front door and start executing on the plans. We are living in a world of expectations and entitlement and privilege. This is creating a world of soft, lazy and unsuccessful losers. My advice is to get off your fat entitled asses and start doing some honest work. #financetips#moneytips#businesstip#investingtips#richandfamous#cryptocoin#stockstowatch#smallbusinessgrowth#moneycoach#wealthymen#moneypower#millennialmoney#moneyfreedom#rebelmoney#rebel

High-value men chase excellence, control, discipline, and mastery in their lives. They want to be the best at their jobs, their careers, and their relationships. They understand their purpose and why they were put on this earth. They are working on executing their mission. In this single-minded pursuit, FIVE things do not distract them from their objectives. 1) Money Money is not the why for high-value men. They do not get up in the morning and say to themselves – today I am going to make a shit load of money. They get up and say – today I am going to execute my job to the best of my ability. I am going to close that deal, I am going to get that client, I am going to nail that business pitch. Money will follow them – but they do not chase it. If you are chasing money, it becomes your master, and it will control you. 2) Sexual Relationships High-value men do not pursue sexual conquests and relationship intimacy. If you are chasing it, it will lead you off your path. As you seek excellence in your life, sexual partners will come into your frame – you will attract them into your path and they will enhance (not hinder) your journey. Alexandre Dumas said that "woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them”. The reason for this is that we move into their frame – we focus more attention on making them happy and this derails us from our purpose. This sounds selfish and narcissistic, and maybe it is. The bottom line is that high-value men know they need to look after themselves first – love themselves first, and then the rest will fall into place. Low-value men rely on sexual partners to make them feel happy, validated, and fulfilled. This is not fair on the partner and dooms them to a life of low value. 3) Instant Gratification High-value men can control their urges and their desires. They can delay gratification because these urges do not control them. High-value men are not slaves to porn and junk food. Sigmund Freud spoke of the pleasure principle that rules infants and children. This is the instinctual seeking of pleasure and avoidance of pain. As adults, we move into the reality principle where we delay gratification for long-term rewards. If you are addicted to instant gratification, you are acting like a child, and there is nothing worse than a full-grown man acting like a spoiled brat. 4) Approval If you are an approval addict, your behavior is as easy to control. You are the same as a drug junkie. All a manipulator needs to do is a simple two-step process: give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game. Can you see how vulnerable you make yourself when you dedicate your efforts to seeking the approval of others? High-value men do not need external validation. They know who they are, and this foundation cannot be swayed by any external force. At the heart of social media is the need for approval and validation. If you are on social media for approval, you will always be a low-value man. 5) Perfection High-value men seek excellence, not perfection – there is a substantial difference. Perfectionism is a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations. High-value men do have high standards, and they understand their weaknesses, but they are also realistic and patient. Chasing perfection is toxic because it does not exist. Perfectionists believe they can only be happy when they achieve perfection. Because they never achieve this unattainable goal, they become miserable, depressed, and anxious. They often develop eating disorders, low self-esteem and low value. #financetips#moneytips#businesstip#investingtips#richandfamous#cryptocoin#stockstowatch#smallbusinessgrowth#moneycoach#wealthymen#moneypower#millennialmoney#moneyfreedom#rebelmoney#rebel